How early does domestic abuse start; difficult and how can it be seen for what it is; hindsight.
Looking back the subtleties are seen but not recognised at the time. I’m not talking just about the brutes that use their fists or weapons but the intricacy of intellectual abuse and the hidden sexual abuse of children.
I was being put down as I was deemed as not knowing what I was talking about on the basis I was a manual worker and not a professional. The constant browbeating and humiliation lead on to self doubt and the questioning of my sanity. Following a disabilitating injury I started studying, to have a change of career, and gained a couple of professional qualifications giving me faith in my ideas and thoughts. I found that although I had hardly changed my way of thinking I was actually speaking a lot of sense.
One thing that deeply upset me was that my ex had been turning my family against me and they were turned against me blaming me of being in the wrong.
I even attended a mediation centre at my ex’s behest so they could get a clearer picture of events. To say I was shocked would be a serious understatement for it was emphasised after two sessions I was well balanced, clear-minded and possessed an inner strength that would make most people jealous. But I suppose the most surprising thing was the total annihilation of my ex’s character; weak, shallow, indecisive and a whole lot more ending with her being in therapy for about a year and being put on medication in an attempt to attain a level of normality and stability. All this went on when she was working as a mental health nurse in the community and at Victoria Hospital in Kirkcaldy.
I’ve spent 8 hours being interviewed by the police about the sexual abuse to my son and step daughter but to no avail for as they said it was a long time ago and what would be the benefit of pursuing my allegations. I thought it would have been the police’s duty to investigate all allegations of sexual and physical abuse but they were unwilling to do anything other than take my statement.
Thankfully I do not have to even acknowledge the woman who tried to destroy my life.
On a political point we should welcome the Gender Equality Act so that gender specific domestic violence policy’s previously adopted by the police forces become a thing of the past and men can once and for all have the same rights as women.